The Top 5 Awful Songs of 2012

I’ve been wrestling with charges of being a “music snob” lately, so here’s one last retrospective list. This one’s built to show that while there’s not often much evidence of it on this site, I do actually have something of a soft spot for pop junk. In my darkest hours I do find myself turning to the likes of Dire Straits and Crowded House and The Eagles, and this year has added a few more tracks to what I euphemistically call my ‘guilty pleasures’ playlist.

5. The Boxer – Mumford & Sons feat. Jerry Douglas

This one ticks all the boxes: lap-steel slide guitar virtuoso? Check! The anthemic folk-lite of the Mumfords? Check! Cover of a classic guilty pleasure? Check! In fact, revisit the original Boxer if you get the time; it really is magnificent, even if Simon et al do lay it on a bit thick…

4. Painting – Mammal Club

I can’t abide falsetto, and hate the idea of anyone even thinking I like it. Yet This one shouts down the voices of my better angels just as surely as Sparks managed with This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us.

3.Once And For All – Clock Opera

There’s a certain style of Radio-2-friendly pop-rock that makes my skin crawl, yet every now and again I feel myself being pulled toward it with inexorable inevitability. It happened with Royworld back in ’08, and it happened again this year with Clock Opera.

2. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together – Taylor Swift

This is the first (and most likely the last) Taylor Swift song I’ve ever heard, and while it doesn’t inspire me to investigate her back-catalogue further it is nevertheless a catchy and witty little tune. I say little, but it’s clearly been built for stadium shows and has a list of writers as long as my arm. Either way, it’s good to see that the ghost of early-Avril-Lavigne pseudo-country-pop-rock still lives on.

1. Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen

I’ve still never heard a single bar of Justin Beiber’s musical output, but I’m told he plucked little Ms. Jepsen from obscurity on the basis of this masterful piece of pop workmanship. Maybe I should take the time to explore some of his oeuvre…

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